So I was walkin home, right? I got off the bus and I was walking home. Then, one of the neighborhood kitties ran up and went, "RRAWAAAWRRRRR!!!" at me.
Then it attacked me. In the face. It hurt.
Cats are not nice, man.
Monday, 12 September 2011
Sunday, 28 August 2011
the skool dancceee XP
Hey hey hey wassap!
Lester is BACK with some more stories from Withrow high!!!
So, I was at the dance, right? And I was sitting with Angela Harper (lol she's totally hott ftw!! ;D) and then Chris, her brother, and Geoffry came over to us.
I was all, "Are you guys dating?!"
Geoffry was all "Yeah" and then he KISSED Chris! He kissed him right in front of my face!!! It was pretty weird.
Then Chris put his hand on his own soft cheek and said coyly, "Oh, Geoffry! Do you have to do that in public?"
Then he laughed in that little Chris way that Kathy Parker thinks is so adorable.
Geoffry (very suggestingly!) stroked his boyfriend's cheek with his finger and said. "What are you supposed to do at school dances?"
To which Angela replied, "Dance?" (Haha, she's so sexy!!)
Then, later, Jenny Alvarez asked me to dance. Yeah, it was pretty legit. Jenny isn't that hot, but she was almost good enough for the Lester... Ster.
So, I guess most of the dance was pretty coo', but nothing out of the ordinary. Ya know, dancing with hot sexy girls. And stuff.
-Sexykitty117
Lester is BACK with some more stories from Withrow high!!!
So, I was at the dance, right? And I was sitting with Angela Harper (lol she's totally hott ftw!! ;D) and then Chris, her brother, and Geoffry came over to us.
I was all, "Are you guys dating?!"
Geoffry was all "Yeah" and then he KISSED Chris! He kissed him right in front of my face!!! It was pretty weird.
Then Chris put his hand on his own soft cheek and said coyly, "Oh, Geoffry! Do you have to do that in public?"
Then he laughed in that little Chris way that Kathy Parker thinks is so adorable.
Geoffry (very suggestingly!) stroked his boyfriend's cheek with his finger and said. "What are you supposed to do at school dances?"
To which Angela replied, "Dance?" (Haha, she's so sexy!!)
Then, later, Jenny Alvarez asked me to dance. Yeah, it was pretty legit. Jenny isn't that hot, but she was almost good enough for the Lester... Ster.
So, I guess most of the dance was pretty coo', but nothing out of the ordinary. Ya know, dancing with hot sexy girls. And stuff.
-Sexykitty117
A day in the lifes of chris harper and geoffry canning!!!!!!
Yo yo yo! Welcome back to Lester's Blog! Get ready, Withrow High, for the first of the juiciest, secretest, most shocking stories you will ever hear about your classmates!
I stood the bushes in Geoffry Canning's front yard, peering into his living room through the window. It wasn't like a gay thing, I'm straight as a pencil... You know, like the straight kind. Not those weird fucked up ones that are all bendy and rubber and... Not straight.
So, I was hiding in the bushes like the normal teenage jock I am when something caught my attention. There was a knock on the door and Geoffry got up to answer it.
I crept around to the front yard to see who it was. Geoffry opened the door and greeted the perfect, smiling face of Chris Harper. Chris' skin was pale and smooth and freckled. His clear blue eyes sparkled in the afternoon April sunlight... Uh, it was just something I noticed.
So, uh, anyway. Chris and Geoffry smiled at each other and Geoffry suggested (suggestingly), "Do you want to go to my room?"
With that innocent, naive little face he has, Chris nodded and said, "Oh, okay."
Then, they went inside the house.
I gasped and ran around to Geoffry's bedroom window. You know, I just assumed it was his room 'cause it was all far back, I just randomly picked the second window to the right.
SO. I peeked through and into the room. Chris and Geoffry came into the room and sat down on Geoffry's bed; I ducked down a little.
"Shit," I muttered, "I can't hear what they're saying."
Chris placed his hand (which was assumably soft as a baby's butt) over Geoffry's hand and gazed into his eyes, saying something to him. I'm sure that it was something deep and insightful because Chris' cheeks barely turned to the slightest rose pink color.
I leaned a little closer to the window.
Geoffry smiled lovingly at him and held out his arms. Chris went to them and... And...
He kissed him! Chris kissed Geoffry right on the mouth!
My breath caught and I stared into the window. So I could better remember the gossip, I kept watching.
Geoffry and Chris laid down on the bed, still makin' out, and I breathed, "Woah, this is getting intense..."
I watched (in horror) as my two MALE classmates kissed each other passionately... with lots of passion. Not only were they two gay guys (ew gross lol!) but one of them was the pure, innocent, perfect Chris Harper! The one with the magical laugh and the gentle blue eyes!
Uh, yeah, that one. At least that's what Katherine Parker calls him, not me.
Then, something terrible happened. Geoffry reached around Chris' delicate, perfectly thin frame and tucked hand into Chris' jeans!
Of course, little Chris instantly retracted with a look of astonishment on his baby face. He said something to Geoffry and Geoffry smiled. Chris was not smiling.
I stared at the horrifying scene and thought, Geoffry, you evil little bastard. How dare you violate him like that?
What? I can help my friends from being too... Gay.
Chris stood up, gesturing accusingly to Geoffry and speaking.
I stood the bushes in Geoffry Canning's front yard, peering into his living room through the window. It wasn't like a gay thing, I'm straight as a pencil... You know, like the straight kind. Not those weird fucked up ones that are all bendy and rubber and... Not straight.
So, I was hiding in the bushes like the normal teenage jock I am when something caught my attention. There was a knock on the door and Geoffry got up to answer it.
I crept around to the front yard to see who it was. Geoffry opened the door and greeted the perfect, smiling face of Chris Harper. Chris' skin was pale and smooth and freckled. His clear blue eyes sparkled in the afternoon April sunlight... Uh, it was just something I noticed.
So, uh, anyway. Chris and Geoffry smiled at each other and Geoffry suggested (suggestingly), "Do you want to go to my room?"
With that innocent, naive little face he has, Chris nodded and said, "Oh, okay."
Then, they went inside the house.
I gasped and ran around to Geoffry's bedroom window. You know, I just assumed it was his room 'cause it was all far back, I just randomly picked the second window to the right.
SO. I peeked through and into the room. Chris and Geoffry came into the room and sat down on Geoffry's bed; I ducked down a little.
"Shit," I muttered, "I can't hear what they're saying."
Chris placed his hand (which was assumably soft as a baby's butt) over Geoffry's hand and gazed into his eyes, saying something to him. I'm sure that it was something deep and insightful because Chris' cheeks barely turned to the slightest rose pink color.
I leaned a little closer to the window.
Geoffry smiled lovingly at him and held out his arms. Chris went to them and... And...
He kissed him! Chris kissed Geoffry right on the mouth!
My breath caught and I stared into the window. So I could better remember the gossip, I kept watching.
Geoffry and Chris laid down on the bed, still makin' out, and I breathed, "Woah, this is getting intense..."
I watched (in horror) as my two MALE classmates kissed each other passionately... with lots of passion. Not only were they two gay guys (ew gross lol!) but one of them was the pure, innocent, perfect Chris Harper! The one with the magical laugh and the gentle blue eyes!
Uh, yeah, that one. At least that's what Katherine Parker calls him, not me.
Then, something terrible happened. Geoffry reached around Chris' delicate, perfectly thin frame and tucked hand into Chris' jeans!
Of course, little Chris instantly retracted with a look of astonishment on his baby face. He said something to Geoffry and Geoffry smiled. Chris was not smiling.
I stared at the horrifying scene and thought, Geoffry, you evil little bastard. How dare you violate him like that?
What? I can help my friends from being too... Gay.
Chris stood up, gesturing accusingly to Geoffry and speaking.
"That's right, Chris. Speak your words." I mumbled.Geoffry shook his head and said something in reply, appearing to be confused.
Both of them paused for a moment, then Chris- Poor, poor little Chris- began to cry. He tried to leave the room and Geoffry forcefully took hold of his left wrist.
"No!" I cried at the window, but Geoffry could not hear my cries. (See, people? I tried to stop Geoffry.)
Chris finally broke free (RUN, CHRIS, RUN!) and, like a ninja, I leapt around to the front door. I watched Chris fling open the door and flee down the street, like a sad yet majestic unicorn... I mean... Not a unicorn, (unicorns are all girls, everybody knows that.) a tiger.
Geoffry ran to the doorway and reached out as he watched his prince run from him (Run free, you adorably childlike little bitch!)
And then it was over. That was the first of Sexykitty117's juicy gossip stories about Withrow's 2010-2011 sophomore class!
Get back to ya later!
-Sexykitty117
Both of them paused for a moment, then Chris- Poor, poor little Chris- began to cry. He tried to leave the room and Geoffry forcefully took hold of his left wrist.
"No!" I cried at the window, but Geoffry could not hear my cries. (See, people? I tried to stop Geoffry.)
Chris finally broke free (RUN, CHRIS, RUN!) and, like a ninja, I leapt around to the front door. I watched Chris fling open the door and flee down the street, like a sad yet majestic unicorn... I mean... Not a unicorn, (unicorns are all girls, everybody knows that.) a tiger.
Geoffry ran to the doorway and reached out as he watched his prince run from him (Run free, you adorably childlike little bitch!)
And then it was over. That was the first of Sexykitty117's juicy gossip stories about Withrow's 2010-2011 sophomore class!
Get back to ya later!
-Sexykitty117
WELCOME MAH PEEPS!!!
Yo wassap!!! I'm Lester and this is my blog! I made this blog so I can talk about me and how awesome I am. So, my name is Lester. I wasn't supposed to be born, but I was anyway. My mom says I was an accident, which is kinda weird because a year after I was born she adopted my two older sisters... Huh. I have a crippling fear of guinea pigs and I believe that Oprah Winfrey is God... Well, next to Yahweh, I guess. For my fifth birthday, my mom went to the corner store to get balloons, but she got a box of condoms instead. I mean, we still blew them up and put them around the inside and outside of the house. Some of our neighbors thought it was a wedding. Our neighbors don't really like me and my parents. They think we're weird and poor. I mean, sure we're kinda poor, but we're not that weird. I think we're a pretty normal family. My mom sits in the kitchen eating ice cream and watching soap operas all day, which I think is totally normal. And I know, some kids from my school might say, "Oh, but you're Lester, of course you think it's normal!" But what does that mean? Just cuz I'm Lester that means I... Actually that sorta does make sense. So, anyway, my dad spends most of his time up in his room by himself... Um, never mind. I am an incredibly sexy single Jewish guy, if any of you ladies were wondering. Lester is OUT! -Sexykitty117 |
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